Merry Christmas to all!

Two More Sleeps!

Only two more sleeps until Christmas, and we're totally prepared! Went out for one last shopping spree at the mall, this time for Nicholas. So nice to just stroll through the shop, absorb all the craziness, and just look at all the goodies, picking out special things for my man that hold some meaning to him. I stopped in for lunch, and had myself a "wee tea" with fancy sandwiches and even a scone with devonshire cream and preserves and a steaming pot of hot tea. Lovely treat.
Even better, when I returned home, my husband had cleaned the entire house from top to bottom! I hate cleaning...in fact, I'm quite bad at ever getting to it. That's not to say my house is a pig sty...we don't leave junk like old food or dirty laundry laying around...it might just get a little dusty. So nice to not have to do it all myself, especially after the two days baking in the kitchen this past weekend.
Today is my parents 39th wedding anniversary, and I think that's amazing. So many people get divorced! There aren't that many marriages out there that will make it that far - some will give up, some will become fed up, some will fail. But, it gives hope to all that relationships really can last that long, even despite the ups and downs, the arguments, the pain that comes with living together and dealing with all that life throws at you...it gives hope to me, when all around me people are throwing relationships in the dumpster like it was last night's leftovers.
Way to go Mom and Dad. Thanks for showing us a good example and giving me something to strive me in the early years of my marriage!

To Trifle with a Truffle

Minus 20 outside, fresh snow...beautiful. It was a clear, crisp day, and it made all the little things I had to do that much more cheerful with the bright sun streaming through the windows, even though it disappeared so early behind the trees on the hill above us.
Finished (!) my baking today with the most finicky little truffles (chocolate)...of course, I've never made truffles before so I had no idea what to expect. All I know is that they are rich and huge...I started the centres ever so small (chocolate and sour cream), but as I added on each required layer (done exactly as the recipe called for), they grew into these monstrous golf balls of chocolate and rum and kahlua. Yummy, but one is enough!
Off tomorrow for the last of my Christmas shopping - this time for my husband. Hmm...I know what I'd like to get him, but the questions is will I find it? It'll be a day of searching around town, I'm afraid, but every opportunity I have had to get those certain hard-to-find gifts, he was always there with me! I'll just try my luck.
Three more sleeps till Christmas!

Baking Frenzy

Well, the Christmas baking marathon began today...it was my plan to make one treat per day, maybe two, just to spread it out and not end up in the kitchen all day. Somehow, I did end up in the kitchen today. Once I started, I couldn't stop! I made the granola last night, which was great for breakfast. My mom's recipe, and one of my favourites. Then I thought I'd start dealing with the pastry and the meat pies, since they always seem the messiest and longest to make. In the end I also made buttertarts. It seemed silly to get started on the pastry and not do those as well! And while the meat cooked for the meat pies, which always takes a long time to simmer down, I thought I'd do one of the other interminable jobs, which is making peanut brittle. Of course, my husband didn't bother telling me until I was boiling the sugar water that the candy thermometer broke last year when he was making the brittle, so I had to eyeball it. I totally bypassed the soft-ball stage, but it worked in the end and is delicious!
Now I think I'll get, and stay, off my feet for a little and enjoy the white lights all throughout my house. It's snowing outside, just cold enough but not horribly so, and I don't have to work tomorrow. Soooo lovely!

Christmas Shopping!

Phew! We spent 8 hours today combing the downtown centre, the mall, and several grocery stores for everything we could possibly need for Christmas. I'm realizing how many baked goods I now have to make, because I've bought all the ingredients. Even the rum! I always feel awkward buying liquor...I don't drink it, so I still feel like a child trying to get away with something naughty when I go in a liquor store.
Tomorrow I will finally roll out the gingerbread dough I made last week, and I decided to treat myself with some homemade granola as well! Then perhaps the meat pies...
So much!
It was nice getting in the Christmas spirit today, wandering through the stores with their (rather tacky and materialistic) holiday decor, but there's nothing like coming home to my Charlie Brown Christmas tree and some quality Christmas music! A humble, homemade Christmas: that's what I like.
All the best to all of you as your prepare for the holiday season!

Christmas Vacation!

It has arrived - Christmas vacation! I can't wait to sleep, and then sleep some more. I'm beginning to realize all that I have to do...like finally bake the gingerbread dough that's been in my fridge for a week, and shop, and make all the other goodies I want to have in the house! Love it. Decorating is officially finished, although I still want to make a wreath for the front door, or something like it. 

Tonight was the official Christmas hullabaloo with everyone from work - it was a nice evening. Not as small and intimate as the first, but with a little wine I managed to get up and sing with my principal (on piano), with his favourite musical music - Les Mis. I am absolutely stuffed...lucky for us, one of our teachers is a chef at the Keg too!

Now, what to do first...so much time! 

Easy decision: bed.

So tired...

I have been out every night this week. I'm exhausted. But! Had a lovely night tonight at Lisa's house, just talking and showing her some Egypt pictures while Nicholas and James played squash up at the university.
Only one day left until the holidays...I'm hoping that lots of students don't bother coming to school tomorrow...it will make life (and getting through the day) so much easier.
I can barely keep my eyes open! On to Christmas baking this weekend, and some stress free writing (no competing with school work or against the clock!). Might even make a card or two...but how lovely to know that it won't be over after Sunday night, but instead will continue for a whole two weeks. Yes!

Joyeux Noel in Wartime

Tonight's message is a call to watch a movie...nothing to do with writing, I know, but everything to do with Christmas and all that we should strive for in our everyday lives.
I watched Joyeux Noel this evening. I'd never heard of it, never seen any reviews. Nothing, and it is the best Christmas movie I have ever seen. It is...real. It's not Hollywood sap, or commercial crap. It's true humanity. I just wished more people cared.
In 1914, during the first Christmas of WWI after everyone had sworn they'd be home for Christmas and the war over, German, French, and Scots (British) troops declared a ceasefire on the lines so that they could mark the special season, the birth of Christ, and return/bury each other's dead.
I'm imagining myself in their place, one day firing on Germans, on the "Kraut's," the next day sharing a bar of chocolate, or attending a service with a priest, or playing a game of cards over a bottle of booze. Imagine seeing the face of the person you're shooting at, learning about their wives, seeing pictures of their families, and knowing that the next day you would be firing at them and ruining their lives forever. Horrible. I just can't fathom it - it breaks my heart. I guess that's why I've always wanted to do my part, why I WOULD (yes, I would!) join the services for my country. Why I would join Doctor's Without Borders as I had always planned to, if only I had been able to attend medical school. It makes me angry that these young soldiers were then reprimanded for "fraternizing" with the enemy, when they were only being human, how a church could condemn a priest who offered a service for all soldiers and not just his own, how a church could kick him off the front and replace him with a man who preaches death and destruction and warps the scriptures to defend the killing of all Germans so that their inherent evil cannot resurface (because, according to the powers that be, Germans are not human). It baffles me that man can be so blind, so mindwashed and unfeeling. I want to show my kids this movie in my Grade 9 class tomorrow, but what breaks my heart the most? They won't care. At all. They'll say, "I hate subtitles," or "this is dumb," because the action scenes have no special effects or there are no familiar actors. They want Elf, or Santa Clause.
Where's the compassion? How do I teach an unfeeling, egotistical generation to care?
Please tell me if you have the solution.

Obligations Complete!

Finally, all the concerts are over. It definitely feels like an old time Christmas for me, meaning something more in tune with my childhood and youth, with all these concerts. It's nice to do something musical during the season, and to help young people have the experiences I had when I was younger, like sharing music with others and feeling a sense of accomplishment at having worked hard and produced something to show parents, friends, and loved ones!
I must say, though, that I was a little disappointed by the end of it, only because there is a sincere lack of performance etiquette on the part of the singers I accompanied! It is common to give your accompanist a gesture of thanks, something that directs the audience's attention toward the accompanist, because it is not just a soloist and a pianist, but a partnership who work together to make the soloist shine and do well. I do not do this for the money, for the prestige - I accompany to help others out and give them more opportunities. But I must say, it would have been nice if it weren't so completely thankless. Out of all the girls I accompanied tonight and over the last few days, not one, NOT ONE, has bothered to thank me physically (gesture), verbally (Thanks!), or monetarily (some even neglected to pay my coaching fees for extra sessions, for which I drove to the conservatory especially). This makes me sad...but I know that I did a good job, and I know that I had a great time playing piano and being able to have the opportunity to collaborate with some young musicians and listen to their beautiful music. That's all that matters.
My one wish - Parents: teach your children manners.

Four More Days, then Holidays!!

Another concert finished! Italian arias tonight...although I did not have to sing them but played the piano for the singers instead. I always prided myself during my music studies on not being a diva, but there is definitely a little diva in there, although she doesn't always show her cards! I enjoy playing the piano, but as I sit there I always feel very "second class" compared to the performer, and wish I were the soloist, even if it scares me to do so and I shake with nervousness!
Winter has really hit us now in the north with -30! The roads are sheer ice, snow that has melted to slush, and then frozen before it could be plowed. Ridiculous! We drive veeeery sloooooowly. It takes my breath away as I walk outside, and if I breathe through my nose, I can feel all the little hairs tweak and begin to freeze...a very odd feeling. If you've never felt the extreme cold, it's worth a shot at least once just for the oddity of it. Beyond that it's just plain cold, and there's nothing much good about that, unless you're a popsicle.
I watched the video of my performance from last night, and I must slap my wrist for being so self critical. The way I see it, most people (unless total narcissists!) don't like looking at themselves on video, or in photos. One of those problems is that we're used to looking at our own mirror images. That is to say, I look at myself backwards, compared to what everyone else sees of me. So, in our photos we think we look a little contorted, because our sideways grins go the wrong way, or we just look "off" because our faces are not perfectly symmetrical.
I confess that I listened intently to my voice, but was so distracted by my double chin that I became very self conscious. Do my lips really look that small when I sing? I looked puckered up, like I had eaten vinegar! And the chin? Well, I was terrified, after having not performed for four years, of making a mistake, and kept my nose in the book. I should have looked up more, but I just needed that crutch. Result? Double chin.
Oh well...it was all worthwhile at the end when I left the stage. Two of the choristers behind me gave each other these cute little "oh, my!" looks, and one lipsynched "she was amazing" and of course this made all the bad stuff fall away.
It took me all evening to figure out how to actually get the camera working...now that I know the basics, I'll hopefully be able to download the clips and put them up sometime this week.
Four more days till Christmas holidays...

Handel's Messiah

One concert down, two more to go!
I had a wonderfully night performing with the Prince George Cantata Singers. The entire concert was, in fact, a sing-along, with the choir performing and the audience joining in (complete with "song books") when they could. I had, luckily, done the entire Messiah production before, so I was able to sing along quite easily and really enjoyed it!
My solo went wonderfully...practises always seemed a bit goofy, but other than having a dry throat and major adrenaline rush (shaky!) it went wonderfully. It felt so good! I loved that, during a piano interlude, I heard this old lady whisper (although, of course, she wasn't really whispering but to her it seemed that way) "she's really good!" This, of course, helped me to calm down and bit and just sing, knowing that it was being well received. Afterwards, lots of great comments. I feel like I've come out of retirement (haven't performed in 4 years!) and have all the encouragement I need to STAY out of retirement. One American women, who completely understood the random oddity of her comment, wished that Obama could hear the message to my song. I sang "Rejoice Greatly O Daughter of Zion," and one particular line is "he is the righteous saviour/And he shall speak peace unto the heathens." This particular women said she was transported to this place where she couldn't help but connect it to the world at large and the issues we have everywhere around us, and she hoped that President Obama would be able to bring peace not only to the middle east, but between nations as well. There's another great piece in the messiah, a bass/baritone solo, which talks about the rage between the nations. Hmm...amazing how something written 400 years ago could be so relevant to the world today!
Another very kind woman said, she wished the Prince George Symphony had hired us (BIG Messiah production last night) instead of importing from the other side of the country. That was nice to hear! I'd love to have done it.
Finally, another woman said something about my chakra? About the sheer energy emanating from the shakra located near my head? I don't fully understand it, and I'm not a follower of such ways, but I read up on it and found out that to have a strong chakra in this area is believed to show oneness with God and higher consciousness and truth. I'll take that. She may have different beliefs, but it was very nice of her to say to me.
Well, now that the evening is done, I have two recitals this week to accompany (sadly, I get more stressed about these than about singing), and then I'll finally have my break. Looking forward to it.
For now, I've just remembered that I need to put my rose (from the choir) in a vase before I hop off to bed.
Photos to follow tomorrow, and in the meantime, I'll be editing the video so I can post that too.
And yes, I even got a little writing done today, replacing third person with first. Still not sure what I think...only time will tell.

No one believes me when I say my dog burrows...but here's the proof. While this is a particularly prime example, Bailey can be found most days in some such position, curling up in her blanket, churning up an inferno of heat. It's amazing how much dogs can entertain us with their bizarre and endearing ways...so much so, that we mourn their passing almost as if they were human. I love that my dog is so quirky, that at this moment she is sleeping with me on the couch, curled up against the length of my leg, her nose tucked in against my hip as she groans with happiness. What a goof.

Didn't get any writing done today...but I overcame my trepidations regarding other people's ickiness, and had a rental couch set delivered for the holidays. It's an odd concept, but a welcome one. If we're to fit more than two people in our living room, we need more furniture. But there's no way we're going out to spend $1000 on a new couch...so we're renting one. What a sight we must have been, walking around the show room sniffing the furniture...and in truth, some of it really stunk. But, we lucked out with what we now have, no smells or suspicious stains! Now we can all sit in comfort over the holidays, without getting sore bums on the wood floors.

Time to make some homemade hot cocoa to cap off the evening. Tomorrow is my big solo with the Cantata Singers...I must confess I haven't practised much this week, because it has been so busy and tiring! I just hope it goes well. Luckily, I'm allowed to use my music as a "crutch," which means even though I have it memorized, I can refer to it if my mind blanks in my nervousness.

Here's to a good performance tomorrow, and a quick arrival of the Christmas holidays so I can get some major writing done!

Perfect Friday

Snowy night with Christmas lights,
Sledding on powder with no one in sight...
Perfect Friday.

Full of Glee

I have mostly banned myself from television...except I have discovered the wonders of watching tv online! I have always enjoyed the luxury of just sitting down and zoning out for a while on other people's lives and problems...but hated having to be committed to doing so at a certain prescribed time. Now, it appears most networks are offering online versions of their shows within 24 hours of their being aired on tv, which works perfectly for me. And of all the shows out there, I am finding massive enjoyment in Glee! I don't think I have enjoyed a tv show in a long time, perhaps ever, as much as I enjoy this one. Which is bad...because it takes away from writing!
I experimented with the first person viewpoint today...I'm not sure what I think yet. If I can do it well, it might work. But if I can't, it sounds juvenile. I suppose I'll just have to keep practising...tonight wasn't the best night to try new things though, because I'm in frustration mode.
I do not like offering my services as an accompanist, only to have practise sessions booked short notice and then wait around for people who, in the end, neglect to attend!
But tomorrow is Friday, and then the weekend arrives. I just need to get through the next week, and then it's smooth sailing, and time to really buckle down on my book! And, of course, Christmas baking.

Point of View

I'm reading Diana Gabaldon's An Echo in the Bone right now, and I must say she offers me vast amounts of inspiration. I am completely aware that the print version of the book is only one of multiple versions she would have created during the process of getting it right, and that most authors must rewrite, rewrite, and then rewrite it again before the book is worthy of print. Still, her words seem so flawless, her sentences so perfectly executed, that mine in comparison sounds juvenile. It seems all "he said, she said," and the voice (one important thing that ALL "write your own novel" sources say you must have, and have well) seems all mixed up.
I'm thinking of experimenting with the point of view. Over the summer, I considered the prospect of first person for Nola...but abandoned it because I was unsure how to write from the first perspective viewpoint of a six- or eight-year-old...Do I "dumb it down," have her thoughts purposely more simplistic, or do I just make her think like an innocent, happy, uncynical version of everyone else? Hmmm...I like what Diano Gabaldon does. The main character, Claire, is first person. Everyone around her, from her husband to her kids, are third. The voice changes with a section break. I like it, because you can feel closer to Claire, understand her thoughts, and while you understand the others as well, there's also a bit of distance there. It seems more realistic than what I'm doing now. I feel as if I just delve into people's thoughts at will, a sort of "anything goes" philosophy. But who can you connect with if you get pieces of everyone, but everything of no one?
I think tomorrow night I might give it a shot, see if it adds to or detracts from the story. It's hard enough just coming up with story ideas...then there's all of this!

30-Day Blogfest

I've done it! I've officially blogged for 30 days straight. I missed last night...got wrapped up in a Christmas movie and just needed a break. I'm actually quite mad that I forgot to blog because I was hoping to keep the record going...but the important thing is that I've committed to 30 days of regular writing at a consistent (ish) time. That was the goal. I basically have two careers as it is, one teaching at a high school, the other teaching music at the conservatory. Writing is not a hobby for me...it's a career aspiration, so I need to treat it like a career. It's hard fitting in a regular writing time after all the time I devote for the first two careers...and even when I have time, the first two tucker me out. So, this blog was my attempt to at least write something consistently each day, and I accomplished the task!
Now, onto month number two.
I think two, maybe three people read this blog consistently...sometimes it feels like I'm writing a whole bunch of nothing and firing it off into the black void of cyberspace, but the goal is not to get readers, but to prove to myself I can actually bring some sort of...professionalism (?) to my writing.
The weather is still cool, nearing -20 by night. It's sparkly outside as the powdery snow is blown off the rooftops and drifts through the air. At night, as you walk under streetlamps, it looks like fairy dust is floating all around you! I love that. I don't particularly love having to turn the barbecue on in it...or to have go and get food from the deep freeze, by first walking outside where it's naturally freezing and into the uninsulated garage where the deep freeze is kept. This is why modern houses have things called doors from the inside of the house to the garage!
Three days left til the weekend, and I'm counting the minutes. I'm looking forward to the moment of glory when I (hopefully successfully) finish my Messiah solo on Sunday. Won't be able to breathe that nice sigh of relief till after the final two concerts on Monday and Tuesday night, however. Again, I repeat: how did I get so busy?
Speaking of busy, I need to work on that novel - I just can't wait till that moment when I know I've finished it!

Novel Word Count: 55,000

O Tannenbaum!

Christmas has officially started in my house with the decorating of our lovely Christmas tree!
It is such a treat to go for a little drive, and just pick a tree. Not a big bushy commercial tree, or one perfectly pruned, but a wonky tree with big gaps and crooked bits which, in its awkwardness, is more perfect than anything I could ever buy at a store. The air was crisp and cool at 20 below, the sun was shining, and while my toes went absolutely numb it is an experience I wouldn't miss. Now, I have the most lovely tree in my house I could ever ask for, and I feel I too could glow like it does with the happiness it brings me!
It took most of today to decorate it, because I'm rather persnickety about how the lights go on (they can't show), and in addition to a full roast beef dinner, I didn't get an ounce of writing done. BUT! I will read before, which is of equal value. How can I know what good writing is, if I never read it?
Finally, I can delve into my Christmas present from my parents: Diana Gabaldon's latest Outlander novel, An Echo in the Bone. I find these novels immensely entertaining...she is a fabulous writer, wordy but never without a reason, and I get so gripped into the stories. I just finished Sherri Smith's A Virgin's Tale, and I'm in need of something more...well, something more. It was not a horrible novel, and really, as far as books go, I rarely put one down. I just found that all the Roman animal sacrifices got to me...Smith describes many of them, and in great detail. She is, after all, writing of the vestal virgins, keepers of Rome's "hearth" and health, and it is their job to collect the blood from festival sacrifices and offer it to appease the gods.
There's nothing that hits me like animal deaths or cruelty, though. I rarely cry in movies, but I sobbed in Marley and Me! I can read about a person being killed, see it happen on film (although I do not watch or read senseless violence, gore, horror, etc - there is too much real violence in the world, it doesn't need to be glorified or venerated into something it isn't) and it will affect me. But if I see an animal die, I'm a mess. Perhaps it is because animals are, to some extent, helpless. We lord over them, control them...I say this, and think of my own dog, who sleeps in a crate a night so she won't eat anything while we sleep! Although if given the choice, she actually prefers the safety of the crate.
Still...hypocritical?
Another week starts tomorrow, and I fear the escalating behaviours as Christmas vacation nears...
And, of course, the staff meeting. Ugh.

Puzzled by my puzzle...

One concert down, two more to go...As much as I love this time of year, it never fails to surprise me in how incredibly busy, and tiring, it can be!
Managed to get a little writing done today...nothing substantial, nothing euphoric and meaningful, but I put a few more words to the story and that was satisfying. I am grateful to NaNoWriMo for encouraging me to write like crazy, but I'm also enjoying not having the pressure while all this other stuff is going on! I'm content to write a little, for now. Can't wait till the holidays, and having a huge chunk of time to get my story going.
I find the hardest thing now, is that I anticipate what is to come...I have all these events and ideas, but my fingers just can't seem to type fast enough to get me, and my characters there. But I don't want to just skip over to those scenes...I want to write something meaningful in between, and not just "filler."
Worked on a puzzle tonight to relax. Not that puzzles are so relaxing...I feel frustrated half the time because I can't seem to find the right piece, and right now I'm mad at myself for always choosing such difficult puzzles! Snow...not a good subject. But, there is something very soothing in the act of puzzling, of having to be so methodical. Definitely takes my mind of other things, like school, I like to forget about over the weekend.
Maybe tomorrow I'll actually get the border done. But, even better, we're off to find our Christmas tree! Here's hoping there are no bears out in the forest with the same idea...

Ahhh...weekend. Enough said.

Winter Wonderland

Winter has arrived in the north! The snow is falling. Beautiful, soft, sparkling powder has been falling now since this afternoon, and all the noise, zooming cars rushing by, the echo of trains and engine brakes from far off, are dampened in the blanket of snow. I love this almost more than anything...snow brings such peace, if you don't have to be anywhere or drive in it, that is. What a luxury to walk out of the school this afternoon, and know I don't need to be anywhere than in my cozy home, snuggled up on the couch, reading and writing and drinking a cup of hot tea.

I have officially "shut off," that is, Christmas vacation is still two weeks away and already I am changing into what I call my "vegetative" gear. Christmas music, Christmas movies, it's all coming out! Better yet, we're off this weekend to cut down our tree in the boonies. A truly non-commercial Christmas: find your BC Forestry "good for one tree" pass in the paper and off you go into the woods with a saw. Love it!

I'm still taking a breather from the book...waiting for a good chunk of time to tackle it and get back on track, although those chunks are few and far between right now. I'm doing lots of reading on the next step, as in, what to do once I actually do finish the book. I've included a few interesting links: one that details the warning signs of a scam publishing agency (http://accrispin.blogspot.com/2007/02/happy-valentines-day-from-writer-beware.html), as well as Writer Beware's "Two Thumbs Down" publishers list (http://anotherealm.com/prededitors/pubwarn.htm). 

As for writing, I must wait until the concert season slows down. How did I all of a sudden end up performing in four concerts? Only one involves me singing, but the piano accompaniment concerts scare me more. If I goof up, the singers following me do as well. Arg. Can't wait till December 16th when it's all over, and I can just focus on getting through to the holidays.

I think I'll go and stare at the snow a little before bed. My fascination with snow never ends...even up north, where it just keeps coming, where it gets ugly and cold and frustrating because spring always seems to be "just around the bend" but never comes till May...even here, I love the snow. It is all the magic of childhood rolled into one - imagination, a sense of wonder, innocence and purity. I hope I can always remember that. Especially when I slip and fall in it and want to walk around with a blow dryer to melt it all. Ah! Snow.

Diva Disaster

Tonight was my first rehearsal with the Cantata Singers for my itsy bitsy solo in their "Sing-Along Messiah." I was really looking forward to tonight, and then I got up there, and boom! Words gone. That's what practices are for, really: making the mistake now so you don't do it at the performance. Still, so embarrassing. What's with that?! Here I am, the only professional soloist there, other than the conductor (who is my colleague at the music conservatory), and I messed up! Ugh. Doesn't help that I've been sick so much this last month...lost 2 weeks of practice time with that. Oh boy. Well, I have a week to get it together. And, if all else fails, out comes the black choir folder and I'll hide my music behind that!
I feel much better now, although I was up often last night with sweats and still have the post-vaccine headache this morning...ick. Still, much milder symptoms from the vaccine than I would have had from the actual flu bug, were I to have contracted it. But powerful all the same! I've never had side effects from a vaccine knock me out like this.
My novel is frozen at 54,000 words...I'm looking forward to some book time this weekend, but I have a concert, as pianist, on Saturday. Oh, how the Christmas season is busy! Looking forward to 3:03 on Friday, December 18th...Christmas holidays!

Didn't I get the vaccine?

I feel like I've been hit by a truck...headache, chills, aches...and that's from the vaccine! What would the actual flu do?!
My husband keeps hitting my arms...I don't know how it's possible to hit my arm so many times, accidentally, in one evening...then he moves the dog onto the couch, and she kangaroo kicks me in the arm. When will it end? I feel like punching him where he got HIS shots, and then we'll see how he likes it!
Not going to get anything done tonight...8:30 and I'm heading for bed. Can't say tomorrow that I didn't get enough sleep!

Flu Shots and Other Freakishness

I've been stabbed in both arms all at once, but at least now I don't have to dread getting the flu. Nicholas and I just happened to walk by our local flu shot clinic - surprisingly a whole floor of a building dedicated to it - and just walked in on a whim and had our shots done, no waiting necessary. I wasn't sure how I felt about getting both the regular shot and the H1N1 shot, but considering my specialist recommended it I thought it wise. Nicholas had to get them as well, by association. My arms do hurt! Sore muscles. Didn't feel the H1N1 hardly at all...it's the regular flu shot that's the doozy.
I'm hoping not to get any of the post-shot flu symptoms like some of my friends have had...ick. We'll see!
No time today for writing, but I'm ok with that for now. I made my 50,000 words to win NaNoWriMo, and  have lots of work to do still but right now I'm just basking in the glory of having accomplished this month's writing goal!
And right on time...because Christmas concert season fast approaches. Not only am I teaching full-time, and part-time at the conservatory, I'm also accompanying several vocalists at two concerts, and singing "Rejoice Greatly" from Handel's Messiah for the Cantata Singer's Sing-Along Messiah. Busy! I'll still fit some writing in there, lots hopefully, but soon it will be Christmas vacation and I can write without rushing or worrying about other work!
But first, Christmas baking. I'll start this weekend, after we put up the tree. So far, we'll be having: butter tarts, shortbread, peanut brittle, Christmas pudding (cake), gingerbread, mini meat pies...in addition to turkey dinner! Now that all my grandmothers are gone, I feel the need to carry on the tradition of home baking for the holidays, to pass on to my kids when the time comes. But for Christmas morning, I'm definitely buying the croissants!
6am wake-up tomorrow in the icy cold...bed time now, or I'll never wake up in the morning! What ever happened to my morningness? I used to be a morning person. Now I'm a zombie. ***sigh.

I'm a NaNoWriMo Winner!

Yup, that's right. I won NaNoWriMo! I beat the clock, the doubt, the self-deprecating mind play, and finally got my novel over the 50,000 word mark! I officially have 54,903 words to my book, an odd assortment of random scenes but also some good, fluent narrative in spots as well.
This by no means will be the end of it...I have so much work still to do! Like, for instance, finish the silly thing. But that can't be the end of the narrative...there's just so much I want Nola to accomplish! Then it will be on to Book Two, and Book Three, and...No Jillian, stay focussed on Book One. I'm just so glad to be at a point where what I've written is actually novel size. I'm really getting somewhere.
Spent today making my advent wreath...found some noble fir boughs and it looks lovely. Most importantly, however, it reminds me of the reason for all that we do this month, from concerts to gift-giving to baking like crazy for a special family get-together. Sometimes the commercial hubbub takes away from it all...I loved my time living in Germany. It was so...wholesome. Here, you can't even get through Halloween before the Christmas decorations start coming out in stores. Isn't there something wrong with that?
I'm dreading the start of the workweek...a few days away from school and I start to feel like myself again, instead of the stiff-necked humbug I must be in order to hold any kind of authority over my  students...some of whom have lately taken to telling me how to teach and that they don't have to do assignments they don't feel are "valid."
Ah yes...back to work.
But first? A good ol' Hallmark movie for a few more hours of fuzzy, all-warm-inside goodness.

Novel Word Count: 54,903

Christmas Begins!

The stockings are hung...on the wall, because I have no fireplace, which is entirely and completely tragic at this time of year. Watching it on the tv is nice, but just not the same. For one, no lovely wood smell. Second, my crappy tv goes from loud to mute with very little in between...so instead of providing atmosphere it sounds like I'm being shot at every time the tv fire sparks and hits a pocket of air or sap.
We decorated the house today, although we're still not finished. That's mostly due to the wiring in this crazy place...gotta wonder why people make the choices they do when building houses. **ahem: money!
We have light sockets in bizarre, unconventional places, and some that don't work at all, so this will be a challenge in cord confusion (I mean, organization). But it all looks lovely! Soon, next weekend, we'll go and loot the hydro lines for a lovely Charlie Brown Christmas tree, which I'm entirely allowed to do because I downloaded a permit from the BC Forestry website. Yes, yes, I could go to a tree farm and do a u-cut, maybe go for a sleigh ride...Or I could drive out to the boonies and hack my way through feet of snow and snarled branches for the gimpiest tree ever, but appreciate it all the more!
It will truly be Christmas when the tree is up. In the meantime, I'm falling in love again with Bach's Christmas Oratorios and all my favourite Christmas oldies and Baroque/Classical masterpieces.
The Bailey Monster seems to like it too...I just hope she doesn't like it all enough to eat it. Last year she devoured some of our special tree decorations from Egypt (yes, from Egypt), just as she devoured our stuffed camel figurines the year before. What's with her and going for all the irreplaceble stuff? Oh, that, and puzzle pieces. Both puzzles I've purchased these last two years had to be thrown out, because she snuffles up anything she finds on the floor. Note to self: purchase felt puzzle pad.
The book is going great! I'm getting lots of writing done. In fact, I just might make it to 50,000 before the deadline! Not that I'll win any big awards, but I'll sure feel great.
Now, I think to cap off this fine snowy evening, I'll put on my first seasonal movie and snuggle with my pooch. Maybe start a puzzle...while she's not looking.

NaNoWriMo Countdown - 3 days!

It's cold outside, there's a fresh coating of snow, and tonight we unpacked our Christmas boxes while putting on our first Christmas CD of the season - King's College Choir's "Noel" (classic!). A lovely Friday evening...
On the more panicked side, there's only 3 days until the end of NaNoWriMo! My blog challenge will continue, but my mad race to 50,000 will be over, although perhaps I'll just pretend it's on all year so I keep spewing out words!
I don't know if I'll make 50,000...I had this brilliant idea that, if I were to type up 5,000 per day from yesterday to Monday, I could do it. But, I only did about 3,000 today, maybe 1,000 yesterday. So...slim chance. BUT, I have 33,000 words! I'm so excited! And, most of it's pretty organized. I just can't wait till I type the last word and say, there's no more to add!
Then comes the really hard work - redrafts and editing. Hmm...tackle that battle when I reach it. My novel is slow to write now because I'm trying to avoid massive rewriting, by have the narrative work NOW.
The burn on my wrist is ok today, still slathering it with Polysporin and wrapping it up to keep it clean, but it's not causing me any issues other than the fact that it the bandage seems to have a homing device for my dog's tongue (what is it with her and licking things ? You should see her with hand cream!).
Here's keeping the fingers crossed for massive word count tomorrow, and more snow, and more holiday cheer!

Hazards of Winter

My school district has this policy...that until the snow reaches the level of 6 inches in the parking lot, they will not plow it. Apparently, for them to contract out the plowing for one day, it costs upwards of $40,000.
I didn't care last week when I heard this, and I didn't care today when I felt its repercussions!
As I was getting out of my car, trying very carefully to remove the pottery in there that I had brought home to finish, and was bringing back today to fire in the kiln...well, I slipped. But, I also had in my arms a thermos cup of tea. The morning started out wrong in the first place, because I left my usual mug last night at the conservatory. It was air tight. Today's was not. I slipped on the ice, and in an effort to not drop my books and papers and pottery(effort failed), I poured scalding hot tea directly on my left wrist, which then had heat trapped in by my sleeve because my hands were too full to pull it up.
Result?
SECOND DEGREE BURNS and a nice chunk of first degree as well. Seriously. No exaggeration.
So, because my school district chose to not plow our school parking lot, I now have a bandaged risk and eventually, a nice scar to remember it all by (and lots of WCB paperwork).
Thanks district for sanding the ice, early this morning, but guess what? You missed a spot.
Arg.

Exhaustion!

I'm so tired today, I nearly fell asleep at 5:30 pm before I had to rush off to teach at the conservatory. How am I ever to get much done in the evening when I can't even stay awake? Probably still the remnants of the Monday night late show...I can barely keep my eyes open, so this will be short.
"Winning has been activated" is now the slogan on the NaNoWriMo site. I won't be getting there myself, but can you believe over 1 billion words have been written so far this month by contestants? To be precise: 1,776,482,205!!!
I'm not doing so horribly though. I'm now up to just over 29,000 words. No 50K, but it feels great.
My dog, Bailey, is telling me it's time to go to bed, by placing her chin on my keyboard so that I can type. I second the opinion - my eyes are drooping. I'm do tired...I nearly scrambled my original document, so I could load it in code onto the NaNoWriMo site for word count. Eek!
Till tomorrow.

This Story is Actually Going Somewhere!

I just can't wait to get there! I have all these ideas for my novel, plot sequences and exciting happenings that I just can't wait to have happen to my main character, but of course my fingers, and my brain, as so slow. It's not that the in between parts are bad, but I just can't help but anticipate these events which will really change Nola's life forever. Like, right now, she still doesn't know about her magic...or heritage. I'm so excited to reveal it to her, to have something happen to her and see how she reacts to it. Will she be freaked out? Excited? Well, I already have my answer...I know exactly how it will make her feel, considering the climate in France and all over Europe really during the 18th century and before regarding "magic."
Sometimes it feels as if I'm just plodding along, filling space until I can get to those momentous occasions, but then I remember its going to be those middle parts that really make the book, that make it something people will devour and enjoy word by word instead of just put down because it's too slow to develop or not engaging enough to bother continuing.
I have reached 28,000 words now...it's not fully in sequence but it's 28,000 usable words that really add to the story at different times in her life. I just have to string them all together. I figure, if I write 2,000 words per day, plus at least triple that each day this weekend, I could actually get to 50,000 words by the NaNoWriMo deadline (Nov. 30th)!
No problem, right? Ha! Tall order. But most importantly, I'm actually getting somewhere with this story. Can't wait to see where I take it tomorrow night.
I nearly fell asleep over my laptop tonight, mid-thought and mid-sentence! 1 am bedtime last night (morning!) is definitely not conducive to good writing sessions...thankfully, my mom called and woke me up. Thanks Mom! Managed to get a few more words out.
Till tomorrow.

New Moon, Photographic Memory, and Popcorn

Well, there you have it. New Moon. Went out tonight with a friend to see the second movie in the epic Twilight series. And it was VERY entertaining!
Lots of criticism from many sources....but I feel exactly as I do about the books. No Nobel prizes for literature, no Academy Awards for the movie. But did they tell a great story? Yes.
I must look back to the author (Stephenie Meyer) and her amazing story. Look at what one person can do, with perseverence and a little talent! Yes, inspiring.
I hope my book can have an ounce of her book's success...I don't need movies and an entire franchise, I just need to get it done and published. Funny enough, however, I see the entire story like a movie in my head. Didn't find out till I was in my 6th year of university that I have a photographic memory (so that's why I can remember to many phone numbers and passwords!), and I see everything from the characters to the scenes in panoramic technicolour. I even know what music I'd use for the scenes (epic battle in second book between Nola and her love Gabriel with her father = Beethoven Symphony No. 2 Opus 97: Allegretto, for your information).
I didn't write tonight, still stuck at 19,000, but I count tonight's activities worthy research and helpful as a boost of inspiration. And...it's always good to relax and eat a little popcorn.

One More Week of NaNoWriMo!

Sometimes dreams offer me inspiration. Interestingly, and at times irritatingly, I remember most of my dreams. I'll wake up in the morning, and have complete story lines, and character sketches, to share with my husband. Sometimes they're very good dreams, ones I could turn into stories. I still remember the recurring dream from my childhood, where I'm standing on this great precipice, and the sky is black, and the rock around this crater-like precipice is red like pumice stone, and I'm being chased in by none other than that huge shiny demon thing (with the bull horns) from the movie Legend. Yes, my form of a nightmare. I wouldn't use that in a book...I can't even watch horror films or thrillers, as if I could write them.
Then I have these dreams which fit in to "The Greater Plan" as I call it, this intricate arrangement of events and circumstances that could only be coordinated by a supreme being: God. Like having dreams about my grandparents who've passed on.
This summer I lost both of my Hudson grandparents, and two of the people I was closest with, my entire life, in the entire world. I had this crazy dream...I was in what I assume was like a senior's home, and they were playing a game. And I remember seeing Grandma, and it was so wonderful! She was all better, no more dimensia from strokes, just totally lucid, herself, with that great chuckle I can still hear (and remind myself to remember, like the smell of her perfume or her smile)...she even came over for dinner to Mom and Dad's with Grandpa, like old times. Then we ended up playing games at that place (strange how dreams can toggle between locations - they totally defy the space-time continuum!). And then it was a vote or competition, for her and Grandpa to be the "heads" but Grandpa wasn't there so I stepped in...and then I had to remind Grandma not to eat crayons, and then they were gone again.
Huh...
I wasn't ready to let go of them yet, especially BOTH. Grandma was expected...but Grandpa dying a day after her? Not expected. It's like the dream was a boosters shot, just a little more of them, EXACTLY how they always were, to slow down the withdrawal.
Then you get dreams that are totally useless, like last night's dream. Very "Notebook," girl falls in love with guy her family thinks she's way too good for, and even though she commits to the "other" (rich, stable, valiant and utterly boring) guy she runs back to the one she really loves...in this dream he was a dentist, and she ran into his office, and there was this great big romantic kissing scene complete with Liberace on piano, and then I was kissing him (another oddity: point of view change within the same dream...only a second before I was observing only), but his mouth was full of toothpaste, and then mine was too, and it was dribbling down my chin and all over my shirt but I didn't care because I was in love! Don't think I'll use that one as a book idea...
I'm realizing now that there is only one more week until the end of NaNoWriMo...and I totally don't care that I haven't reached the 34,000 word sign-post for today...
If you think about it, I started NaNoWriMo 7 days late...granted, I already had a lot of my story sussed out, and have been working on the background information/reasons for/major events now for 2 years. Still, I didn't start drilling myself into such constant output until the 7th of November. Today is the 22nd. Any way you look at it, I have written 19,000 words in 15 days. That's 19,000 decently organized, well thought out, fluent words. That's pretty awesome! Now, if I just pretend NaNoWriMo is still operating after the 30th, maybe I'll finish this book in the New Year! And, of course, books 2 and 3 are already planned, so it only goes up from here!
I'm also quite proud of my blog's new look...do you know how long it took me to use html (that's right - computer science talk!) to create that interactive menu on the left? Yes, I did that on my own, with the help from a few other blogs who explained it for me. I figured out colour codes on my own though so it wasn't a garish yellow, which it started out as. Cool! Previous to this, the only html experience I had was when I snuck into a friend's computer science class in university to takes notes while she was at the doctor's. Didn't understand a word, but I took many devoted notes.
My husband is sawing logs beside me...I envy his ability to crash so quickly. I'm the opposite...borderline insomniac. Busy day tomorrow: 7:30am start at work, accompanying 6 voice students (on piano) at 4pm for the Festival of Trees, and maybe even catching a late show viewing of New Moon with a friend. I NO it's time to log off Know, because EYE keep typing in the wrong version, or homonym, of the word EYE'm looking FOUR. He he...
Out goes the light.

Work, Not Play!

I'm sitting at Starbucks...not for the coffee (although I couldn't resist a triple-grande soy latte!), but for the atmosphere. Billie Holiday and Vince Gueraldi sounding from the speakers, the whirring of coffee grinders and steamy "chhhhh" spitting from the milk frother...perfect amount of background noise and warm colours to make for fruitful writing session.

I thought I'd try something different today...as much as I love sitting with my dog snoring logs beside me on the couch, I've developed successive kinks in both sides of my neck over the last two weeks and thought, for the sake of a fully mobile neck, I'd better find a table somewhere to set myself up. As the dining room table offered no inspiration whatsoever, and distracted me to the nines with all the clutter, I got in the car and drove to the one other place in town that makes me feel all gushy and warm and cozy - Starbucks. I am the first to admit, their coffee is not great. It comes across as rather generic, like everything is diluted in flavour to appeal to a mass of uncultured coffee tastes, and then filled with sugar. Thus my need for three shots of espresso. But in atmosphere, it wins the golden star. When I'm writing, atmosphere is key. 

My coffee is nearly finished, and I know at some point I'll have to migrate home and put some dinner on the stove. Spaghetti maybe. Or maybe I'll be really lucky and it will be made for me! 

I find this whole writing thing difficult....mostly because no one truly understands the amount of emotional, physical, and psychological work it involves. It is my THIRD career...I teach high school, music at the conservatory, and I write. How many hours a week is that? But it doesn't have a set amount of hours of prescribed times those hours must be logged. Nor does it pay, up front at least. Perhaps to some, then, it seems more like a hobby. But it is far from this! I am not playing, I am WORKING. If only everyone saw it that way.

And, if only it didn't make me so incredibly aloof! All I think about is writing, when I'll write, what I'll write, what my characters will choose to do today, how much I'll get through in a day...I'm going CRAZY! Fine with me...except it tends to eclipse everything else. 

Now, it must eclipse my blog as well! I have an hour until I've been out of the house for an unreasonable amount of time. Time to get writing!

Ambrosia on a bun?

Fatburger. That's the last place I'd want to go for supper. Who'd want a fat burger? We all know they're fatty. Do we really need to be reminded in the title of the restaurant? at least if I go to McD's I can pretend it's good for me...no reminders except my tastebuds that it's crap. But Fatburger? Just walking in there says that I know it's bad for me, but abuse my body anyways for the sake of a quick tasty bite. It sounds all grease, and globby beef fat...So we put it to the test tonight. And, in fact, it beats McDonald's and A&W way out of the water, health-wise! Not that it is healthy, but they make the burgers there from "scratch", no microwaves or warming trays, everything fresh each day and not frozen...real ice cream milkshakes, lemonade...very nice. So, pleasantly surprised.
Still, I have to stop eating junk food. Not that we do it often...but I'm paying for it now with an upset stomach. The things we do to ourselves...
BOOKWISE, lots of ideas coming from random places. And I'm not sure...should I be updating everyone on plot events online, or does that give it away? Or worse, could someone steal it? That's why I haven't written much yet on the actual book, other than my feelings upon writing it. Ultimately, I want my blog to function as a way to tell Nola's story, this thing I've created, and when Nola gets in a jam, I'd love people to get involved and help her solve. Once you start writing your characters take on this whole life, and even seem to start making their own decisions! It's crazy.
Anyways, here's to tomorrow and getting some crazy amounts of writing done. Won't reach 50,000 by the 30th, but hey! Look at what I've done so far.

Novel Word Count: 16,794

This is a post for posts sake, as I'm trying to commit to one post every day! Too busy today getting chewed out by irrational parents to write, people who can't seem to understand that their child's behaviour, and how it can affect their success, is the most important thing, and not whether or not they get on the honour roll. Good! They didn't make it! Maybe now they'll know life isn't a free ticket, and that disrespect, rudeness, and laziness won't get them very far. School of hard knocks, buddy! Bitter much? Oh yes...I just don't think I should have to go to work on an evening and be made to feel like crap because someone's child clowned around and got a "Needs Improvement" for behaviour. Is that too much to ask?

This generation of kids really does scare me (although some of them have scary parents too)...I realized on Remembrance Day that most of these kids have no relationship to veterans from WWI/WWII. I had a close relationship with my grandfathers, who shared stories with me of their experiences, and through them I am connected, and feel an obligation to uphold values that give me the life I live, and gratitude to them for giving me the life I live. For goodness' sake, I choke up at community Remembrance Day services, like this year, when I got all teary eyed as the mounties, and firefighters, and veterans, and all other uniformed people walked by in parade after the ceremony. These kids don't have this...their troubles are closer to home, many of them. Divorcing parents, crazy parents, no parents, parents themselves...but they also don't think beyond their own troubles. Many are too busy laughing at the students who are in cadets, and act as colour guards for the school ceremony, to even understand what they represent. This scares me.

Didn't get much writing done...I'd probably knock a character off or make a relationship go sour if I tried because I'm just annoyed! I don't think I should be responsible for anyone's life, even my character's (they're people in my head!), when I'm so fatalistic.

On a light note, tomorrow's Friday, and that means the beginning of the weekend, and that means I get to WRITE. Here's hoping I come up with lots of ideas!

Novel Word Count: approx 17,000 (I'm too tired to count)

I'm tired. 2 new voice students today, two vocal coaching sessions, a plumber, report cards, and now parent teacher interviews coming up tomorrow evening. When am I supposed to write? To make myself feel better, I fused my previous writings (flashbacks from my first story attempt) with my new attempt, although I have not created the transitions into those scenes yet. But, my word count is much higher now, so it was worth it if only so that I am not totally depressed after days like this when I'm too busy to even sit down on my couch, let alone write. My bed never looked so good! Oy veh, up at 6am...

Novel Word Count: 16,974

Snowy Slush and Late Night Mush!

There is a winter wonderland of slush outside, and my desire to merrily sing Christmas tunes has been sated. There's just no rejoicing to be had when you're sloshing around in scummy looking wet snow! But it started out rather majestically...come January, when the deep freeze sets in and sticks the snow to every living and inanimate object, I'll probably wish for the changeable nature of slush! Till then, bring on the sunshine. And sleep...can't wait to curl up in my flannel sheets tonight because, (what else is new?) I'm pooped.
More success writing tonight. It appears I need a good 2-3 hour window to be really productive. By the time I finish searching for that word that's on the tip of my tongue but just won't come out, or research whether or not 18th century France had ice boxes, it takes 3 hours to get a good chunk of writing done. It frustrates me that I can't have that much time each night of the week! And, when I do, by 10:00 Bailey is staring at me to rub her, and let her out to pee and then put her to bed. Yes: I communicate with my dog. In fact, I know all the different tones of her barks like a mother does her babies cries! Right now she's guilt tripping me with the biggest sighs I've ever heard emitted from an animal. They can be roughly interpreted as: "I don't understand why daddy is in bed sleeping, and I'm not!"
I feel like I've made some really great progress on the story. My characters are developing on paper (they're already developed in my head), and they're actually getting places geographically and emotionally...the story is slowly unfolding! Nola's 6-year old self is firmly esconced in France, elements of her character being revealed through her actions (like galloping a pony through a field to her mother's chagrin)...it's a whole new story. To explain further, I started this whole idea on a completely different bent, at a later date than 1782. It was so EXCITING and I loved it...but it needed more background. Then, adding the background with flashbacks made it too choppy and felt the pace of the narrative was lost. So all those flashbacks and now an entirely new book on their own, a prequel in a sense to the original story, now book 1 in what will inevitably (because, as you can see, I'm wordy) become a multivolume saga!
Amazing how you start with one thing, and it ends up completely different in such surprisingly pleasing ways!
I just kick Bailey off the couch before she falls asleep again...when she gets to that stage I must physically drag her off while she gives me the evil eye (ha, should have put me to bed sooner, mum!). She'll hang 3/4 off the couch before finally relenting to drop a foot to the floor.
I'm hoping to pull some passages soon (all those flashbacks) from my first manuscript into this new one, the first attempt sitting at about 30,000 words right now, and that will hopefully boost up my word count drastically. I'll never make it to 50,000 by the 30th in order to (try to) win this NaNoWriMo competition, but I'll keep trying! No matter what, progress is progress, and if I continue this pace past the 30th, I'm guaranteed to finish the book sooner (and get published?!!!!!!) than if I had never bothered to enter the contest at all. Amazing what a little competition will do.

Novel Word Count: (drum roll....) 11,098!

Moose...the New Reindeer

We woke up today to a blanket of freshly fallen snow, and three moose meandering through our front yard. How odd! I expect to see squirrels, birds, maybe the odd deer. My uncle used to feed racoons dog kibble in his yard, by the hand. But a moose is an entirely different creature. First, they're huge. Theirs heads are just so...huge. They can total a car in a crash without totalling themselves - that's how huge. I am glad to not have to suffer the long 2-hour drive home to Mackenzie from Prince George on such snowy days, which I've done many a time in the last year. I was always fearful of encountering moose...but luckily, they stayed to the side of the road.
Managed to write a wee little bit tonight, but in all honesty my bed seems more of a priority right now. I seriously doubt I will meet the 50,000 word deadline by November 30th, but I didn't enter this competition to do that - I just wanted some motivation to write, and that's exactly what I got. Not much improvement on yesterday, but it's progress all the same.

Novel Word Count: 9,900

Snowy Days and Sundays = Writer's Best Friend

Finally, success! The snow began to fall this morning, and a feeling of luxurious timeless descended on our house. There's is nothing like being at home, knowing you don't need to be anywhere else, to do anything but what you love, while you watch the snowflakes fall from the sky and alight on the ground.
I spent three hours of my day in the kitchen covered in flour...up to my elbows in pastry and yummy meat filling for homemade meat pies. According to my mother, I have inherited my grandmother's knack for pastry, and it just so happens my husband is a pastry lover. I cracked out my Australia Women's Weekly meat pie recipe, and off I went! A delicious treat well worth the elbow grease.
I also (and I must say, most importantly!) managed to sit for huge amounts of time and write away. I feel great knowing I've accomplished some writing today, and have boosted my wordcount up 2,000 words from yesterday! THAT is what I love about Sundays, and snowy days. I can start my week on good footing, reading to dive in Monday night from where I left off today. This is good - very very good! I can go to bed content, frustrated only that the weekend has come to end, but happy that it was fruitful.

Novel Word count: 9,786! 

Taking a Break

Sometimes, the best way to accomplish your goal is to stop trying altogether, for a day, a week...however long you need. Sometimes it's good to take a mental break, give your brain time to rest and refresh so that, when you're ready to get back to it, you get back to it with productive fervour! This is exactly what I am doing now...I'm frustrated when I can't write. I see the mountain of work clearly ahead of me, and it is a very tall mountain! It is a task I do with glee, climbing this mountain of words and decisions, but it is still daunting and sometimes I can't believe what I'm getting myself into, especially when I can't find time to write despite all my efforts. And worse, sometimes I just can't get into the right mental zone to make writing sessions worthwhile. A pattern is emerging.
It seems, more than ever,  I: a) don't have time to write, or b) don't have the energy to write. Teaching, report cards, shopping, cooking...even if I have time at the end of the day to sit down and get a good chunk of writing done, I am too tired. It takes a lot of energy to write, I find...and when I try in the midst of exhaustion, it comes out like a bunch of gobbledygook!
So I wonder, how on earth am I ever going to finish this book, and how much do I sacrifice in order to make it happen? Already, the evenings seem to grow longer as I try to squeeze more in each night. Then, do I go with quick dinners so I can get to writing sooner? Or rush dinner?
So, I decided tonight, even though I haven't written much for three days, to just take some time, sit with my husband, and get absorbed in LOST. This was good. I feel frustrated that I'm not writing, but I can't just abandon everything to make it happen! Life must go on, and it's very hard just to watch one episode of LOST when you have a whole season at your fingertips...addicting!
I'll try to get back on track tomorrow with my novel. In the meantime, at least I've written this. One of my goals is to write at least a bit each day. Just a few well-formed sentences put together in some sort of comprehensible order. And when I go back to the novel, I think I'll do better after having a mental day. Well, seems more like a mental week. Or perhaps I'm just mental, period.
Oh well. Time for bed.

Novel Word Count: abysmal.

A Whole Lotta Nothing

Another day with nothing to show for it, novel wise...why can't I just stop everything and write? Oh yes, I must make a living, or I'll be writing with a degenerate laptop on a stoop. Not so desirable...
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. First, my first craft fair of the season! It feels so much more like that special time of year after a stroll through a school gym brimming with crafts and the scent of hot apple cider!
Second, I didn't bring an ounce of work home from school which means the majority of my time will be spent writing. And, I'm inspired! Telling people I'm writing a novel sounds so pretentious...like I'm bragging, or trying to feel self-important. Sometimes the reception is one of confusion...how does one explain a two-year thought process in a sentence? I share my ideas with a variety of people, some with an attention span no larger than my dog's when there are no cookies in my pockets, so usually I don't bother getting into much detail and I leave the conversation feeling rather disheartened. Today, however, I explained my idea to someone who actually cared to listen, and was enthralled, and actually wanted to buy it if ever it came to print! He hasn't read my writing, so I'll give him a chance to skim it first without holding him to it...but it's nice to feel like what I love, what I'm spending SO much time on (what I'm driving my husband nuts over) actually excites someone else as it excites me!
Time for bed...in my effort to keep this blog going every day (a personal challenge to myself to ensure that everyday, I'm writing SOMETHING), my bed time seems to get later each night. Nicholas is usually asleep when I get to bed, which I hate. I'm usually the first in bed, and bed time is lonely when the person you say goodnight to is snoring. Half the day, I'm a total space cadet, thinking of my story and far off somewhere else. So many small sacrifices add up, but the hope is that eventually, sooner rather than later I hope, they will pay off. Sorry love for taking mental vacations and not being there when you fall asleep - but I'm sure you know I'm doing this as much for you as for myself.
I never thought about the life of a writer until I began doing it myself. How on earth do they do it?

Novel Word Count: a dismal 7824 (apparently I'm supposed to be at 25,000 today...eek!)

Ain't Nothin' Better Than...

Cookies and milk! And I don't mean just any cookie...I mean Oreos. Yes, after a long night of marking and  staring at a computer screen to complete report cards for 120 students, Oreos and milk are just about the best thing in the world. This, coming from someone who is lactose sensitive! Of course, nothing these days is ever guilt free...
I am perfectly aware that my milk - non-organic because I simply can't afford to supply my husband with the good stuff at the incredible rate he drinks it - is full of ghastly hormones which could fatten me up into a little heifer...and my beloved Oreos have enough sugar and fat in them to completely reset (backwards) my entire endocrine system. Yes, I am aware of this. And yet I eat and drink merrily! It's amazing what we put into our bodies while being fully aware it is toxic!
I have nothing to say about my novel, except that I am EXCEEDINGLY frustrated that I couldn't get to it today. A frustration about not being able to devote my time solely to this endeavour...but now that report cards are finished I have the entire weekend to get my word count back up!

Novel Word Count (sadly): 7,662

Confessions of an Inquisitive Child...

Each author has an ish...mine is description. I delight in finding the perfect words to describe a situation, taste, smell, sight, or feel...but sometimes such descriptions require confessions of a rather embarrassing nature, that elicit less than favourable responses in others.
For instance, my first host father in Germany was an epicurean sort, who love good cheese and wine and lavished his rotund figure with it on a regular basis. He often travelled around Europe collecting delights, such as mounds (and I do mean mounds) of Swiss chocolate for me to try (one of every bar, some enormous...which I proceeded to polish off within a week) and Petit Ecolier cookies from France. Most memorable of course, was his trip to Paris, from which he brought back the best of aged brie and camembert. I thought this wonderful...until I tasted it. All I could say, is that it tasted like dirty gym socks. Most took this to mean I had, at some point, sample dirty gym socks and found the flavour comparable to that of camembert. What I meant to say is, it takes like what I IMAGINE dirty gym socks to taste like...you get my point. Word choice is everything!
Tonight, I attempted to describe the unexpected, bitter flavour of Seville marmalade to a 6-year-old during the 18th century, who is from a place where even just a plain orange would be hard to come by. And, for some reason, ear wax came to mind. I have had this thought before...when I was 11 I had open heart surgery, but was terrified of being put under with a needle, and didn't want gas either. I had (and still do) a particular hatred for black licorice because it tasted like the flavour left in my mouth from sleeping gas, when I'd had tubes put in my ears several years before. So, I opted for a liquid anaesthetic. All I can say is, it tasted like earwax.
Now, don't give me that look! Everyone always cringes when I say this, and I know what you're thinking. Do you eat earwax often? But I know you know what I mean. Surely, most of us have, at some point, had a little tickle in our ears, and dared to plunge a digit inside to expunge the itch. Then, without thinking, you later put your finger in your mouth, to floss your teeth, or pick out a popcorn kernel, or likc your fingers because you (very naughtily) ate some crap-packed orange cheesies and they're just finger licking good. And you get this horrible taste in your mouth, bitter, and realize it's ear wax.
Surely, I'm not the only one who has done this? Goodness, someone's even written a book about it!
Well, there you go. I confess: I have tasted earwax. But I know I'm not the only one.
What other strange confessions will my attempts at description elicit?

Novel Word Count To Date: 7,662

Thick as Molasses...

I feel like a fly who has made the mistake of landing in a drop of molasses...the more I flail the more thoroughly I become stuck in the stickiness. As hard as I try to spew out words for fluency's sake, my brain moves in slow motion and my feet keep getting stuck on sticky words. I am watching my word count slowly climb (which is great), but the gap between what I write and the projected output to be successful in the NaNoWriMo competion continues to widen (not so great).

Then, after writing not-so-successfully, I open up my blog and wonder, does anyone actually read this? Does anyone really care about this journey I'm on? Even if they did, would they even know where to find me? I am perplexed. I write for the sake of writing, for putting pen to paper (figuratively) to satisfy my own impulses and inclinations. But, it would be nice to know that my blog exists out there, somewhere beyond my living room. But maybe that's not the point...maybe all a blog really is, is a process. A venue to vent, without constantly self-editing in fear. Writing for writing's sake, with the added bonus that someone might actually read it and care.

There is hope!

Today's Word Count: 7,190

Hallelujah!

I have my first follower! Thanks Lisa. Mom: you no longer have to worry about being my first follower and making me feel "uncool" or as if you were a helicopter mom...I think it's awesome you care! Now, I need to get on with writing my actual book, or I'll get nowhere and this will all have been for naught...

Location, Location, Location!

I just spent a wackload of time preparing my office as a comfortable writing space, hung pictures on the wall, tidied up the shelves... I finally emptied the plethora of boxes in my closet full of junk I'll never use but somehow accumulated: quarter-full jars of dried up acrylic paint inherited from my crafty grandmother, bits of paper I'll never scrap with but can't get rid of because they "remind me of when"...I put all this work into creating a comfortable, organized, calming and inspiring work space, and here I am sitting on the couch in my living room, in the middle of everything, and happy as a clam. I read once that Stephenie Meyer, author of the Twilight Series, sets herself right up in the middle of the action, and is perfectly content despite having her three boys running around her. Others, like John Wilson, a young adult fiction writer from Lantzville (whom I met with for advice at the beginning of my journey to becoming a writer), locks himself away in the upper floor of his guest cottage/garage, blinds shut, noise-free, and barely emerges till it's done. "Welcome back" is his wife's customary greeting after these month-long withdrawals from all but the written word. John's author friend in Ontario has no troubles waking at 5am and driving to some Torontonian suburb for a school visit. As his early departure saves him from the worst of the morning rush-hour traffic, he arrives early and plunks himself at the local Tim Horton's until it's time to migrate towards his eager young readers at the nearby school. I've tried Starbucks, personally, but unplugged always seem to take the seats with the outlets, which doesn't seem fair to those of us attached at the hip to a device requiring an electrical current.

So, location. There really is no perfect location for every person. It's as personal a choice as your preference for certain brand of chocolate bar or cut of underwear. The best place to write? Where you feel comfortable, where you can sit and go "ah" and just focus on the task at hand. For me? It's anywhere my loved ones are. Right now, my goofy lap-dog Doberman is sitting next to me on our extra-deep love seat, sharing my knit blanket, sawing logs as I click away on my keyboard. It's even better when my husband joins us, as he is now, reading his book or playing video games (as long as he remembers to wear his headphones). The best location for me is where I'm at ease.

Oh, by the way:

Today's word count: 6,615

(a dismal day...NaNoWriMo deficit now 9,000 words! But, progress nevertheless...)

The Beginning

It is my firm belief that if you can't imagine a dream coming true, it will more than likely never come true...perhaps because you don't believe in yourself or your dreams and abilities enough to MAKE it happen. I'm a dreamer - always have been, always will be. What have I got out of it? Well, I have a job that I'm not selfless or self-masochistic enough to enjoy...and I've somehow ended up living in the northern Canadian boon-dogs, where there's actually a roadkill sign-up list that entitles you, when your turn comes around, to scrape a moose carcass off the road and have a lovely meal of it (granted you retrieve it on time, before the weevils set in). I definitely did NOT dream THIS life up, but it has given me the encouragement I needed to buckle down and decide, if I could do anything, what I would want to do with my life?

I've made that decision, and now I'm pitting myself against writers from all around the world to prove that I can make it happen.

Yesterday, I joined NaNoWriMo, the National Novel Writing Month initiative designed to help writers like me get from zip to 50K in 30 days...That's about 1,600 words per day...which is a daunting feat! I started 6 days late, and have, so far, a 6,000 word deficit! But, I'm committed.

I'm switching routes. For years I've made decisions with that little part of my brain that says, take no risks, make money. But how often has that little part of my brain made me truly, incandescently happy? Drawing a blank...although I do thank it for my reletive comfort in recent years.

Now I'm making my decisions with my heart...writing feels good. It excites me, moves me, inspires me...there's no better time than now to make it happen, to make this dream come true!

I must remove myself from the stratosphere for now, however. I'm realizing it is nearly midnight, and an eager group of pubescent beings awaits my so-called sharp wit and wisdom come morning. I foresee the need for coffee...

Novel Word count: 6, 162.